Posts

Sleep...sleep...sleep

There was a blockage in Boots the other day; not the footwear…the shop. I don’t usually go in there because if I’m honest it’s all a bit too prawn sandwiches and neon lights (to quote Victoria Wood) for my liking, but it is a useful shortcut to the high street. The hold-up was the ever-extending queue for the prescription counter. As I and my fellow short cutters snaked our way through the shop, I noticed a stand with an array of sleep aid products. From nose clips and tapes to stop snoring, to herbal remedies and neck pillows; it confirmed what I already know from my private practice; sleep is an all too common problem.  Clients tell me they use all sorts of methods to help them gain some precious hours of shut-eye, but it seems with varying success.  Some people swear by stopping caffeine intake early in the afternoon, and never in the evening. Others make sure they don’t eat too late. Most follow the advice to stop using electronic devices before bed, the blue ligh...

Imposter Syndrome: Do you sometimes feeling like a fraud?

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  One behaviour people experience from one time or another is being an imposter; the feeling that they might get ‘caught’ out for not being as good at what they do as people assume they are. Imposter syndrome is where an individual doubts their accomplishments and abilities and these are converted into a fear of being exposed as a fraud. Interestingly, this still happens when there is plenty of evidence to the contrary.  What do you attribute your successes to? Unjustified feelings of being an imposter are an attribution bias. It is a tendency to attribute successes to luck or poor judgment on the part of others’. In a self-deprecating way, the assumption is that they are ‘just getting by’ and if others saw the real them then they would less than impressed. When we feel this kind of imposter syndrome, we failing to have any internal acknowledgment of our own achievements, something which is characteristic of those suffering from anxiety, and unsurprisingly, low self-estee...

Go On...Have a Negative Thought

There must be few things that are of as little use as the advice to ‘just think positive’; and this is coming from a therapist! It is the ‘just’ part of that advice that bothers me the most. If turning negativing thinking and attributions was a simple as just thinking positively, wouldn’t everyone do that? The act of challenging negative thinking is a tough one because it requires an individual to reappraise how they believe things are. It means having to change our position in the mental argument in our minds. We have become fixed on that way of thinking and it has shaped our expectations. Giving up that which we have spent time mentally building and having to admit to ourselves that maybe there is a more useful way to think about things, is not easy. Take one look at a social media post about politics and you will get all the evidence you need to support just how difficult it is for people to consider a different point of view.  Positivity is important when it grounds us...

What Personality Type Are You?

I am often asked: why do some people react differently to what happens to them in life? We sometimes hear stories of people who have experienced extraordinary life events and seem to have coped with them remarkably well, yet others seem to struggle with minor day to day hassles. Why?  Psychologists have many theories as to why this might be the case. Unsurprisingly, most of the time, it comes down to perception. You and I could experience the same event, but we would have a different perception of it. We would both ‘see’ and understand it in an individual way. This may be due to our previous experience of similar events or how we were feeling at the time, but it can also be down to our personality. While there are many definitions and descriptions of personality it is possible to sum them up as three basic types. While we are always a mixture of all three, the characteristics of one of the types will stand out as predominance. Being able to identify what type a person is c...

Angry? Send In The Clowns

There is little doubt that we learn some behaviours. Observation of our and other’s actions confirms that (at least in some part) the behaviour is a construct of our experiences. However, it also has to be acknowledged that we learn behaviours by  observing  others.  We witness the positive or negative  consequences  of behaviour and that informs whether or not we will repeat the same behaviour.  Social Learning Theory (Bandura and Walters, 1963) suggests that we not only learn by direct experience but vicariously learning through the observation of others. The  expression  of behaviour is influenced by the learning which has taken place previously. This concept can be used to explore the question of whether being exposed to aggression will lead to a person to display aggressive behaviour as well. The researchers created a now-famous experiment to see if aggressive behaviour would be vicariously learned.  What did they do? Two...

So, what do you do? The Social Nightmare

It was the week before Christmas and I was at my third festive ‘get-together’. I have learnt the art of acquiring a drink and positioning myself within staggering distance of the buffet. All was going well, and I found myself being introduced to a couple who the hostess of the party had insisted I should meet. After pleasantries, I braced myself for the inevitable question. Like a train rumbling towards a damsel in distress, I knew there was no escaping it. “So, what do you do?”  Police Officers, Teachers and those that work in I.T, will know all too well the awkwardness that can be created by that simple question; and being a therapist is no exception. On occasion, I have fantasied about making something up. “I’m involved in international espionage…” I imagine saying, “…I could tell you more but then I would have to kill you.”  They would laugh nervously and I would legitimately be able to avoid the question.  Back in the real world… I told them the ...