What Personality Type Are You?

I am often asked: why do some people react differently to what happens to them in life? We sometimes hear stories of people who have experienced extraordinary life events and seem to have coped with them remarkably well, yet others seem to struggle with minor day to day hassles. Why? 

Psychologists have many theories as to why this might be the case. Unsurprisingly, most of the time, it comes down to perception. You and I could experience the same event, but we would have a different perception of it. We would both ‘see’ and understand it in an individual way. This may be due to our previous experience of similar events or how we were feeling at the time, but it can also be down to our personality.

While there are many definitions and descriptions of personality it is possible to sum them up as three basic types. While we are always a mixture of all three, the characteristics of one of the types will stand out as predominance. Being able to identify what type a person is can explain lots about their behaviour, and how they might react in different situations.

Stage One Character Type

This person is generally quite shy and introverted. You would never see this person at the centre of a party, they would much prefer to stand on the sidelines and watch others. They wear their heart on their sleeve and can become easily hurt by the things people say. Others will often observe that they are a good listener, and always eager to help whenever they can. But don’t be fooled into thinking this person is gullible, they have a great depth of perception making it easy for them to see through those around them. 

This character has real depth to their character, which makes them perfect when dealing with the pressures of life. It’s these people who cope remarkably well with extraordinary events that occur. While everyone else around them is struggling it is this person who is ready to take charge and organise things, but not it a bossy way - far from it! They quietly get things done. They had once seemed so quiet and unassuming, now they are demonstrating that strong character that they have kept hidden. Once the situation is back to normal we see them retreat into the background, allowing others to take the limelight.

This character type often works in one of the caring professions. They will admit they get an inner satisfaction from helping other people and giving generously of their time, but is happy to remain one of the team rather than aspiring to be ‘the boss’. 

Sometimes this person can feel a little separate from everyone else, feeling that they are not understood, while it is clear that they understand those around them very well.

Stage Two Character Type

The second character type is the person who always seems in control. They appear to be organised and enjoy telling others what they should do and how they should lead their lives. They sometimes are considered to be a bossy and overpowering by others. They tend to have jobs where they are leaders or managers. They like to be the one in charge, often feeling they know best.

However, this person is brooding and ruminative. They think over things, but not in a worrying way; instead they are assessing what others think of them. In some cases they can seem a little paranoid, perhaps always thinking they have to be one step ahead of everyone else; while those around them cannot see what all the fuss is about.  They do not suffer fools gladly and become easily frustrated by others.

This person will tell you that they have a great depth of perception. They believe that they understand what someone else is thinking or feeling when in reality they are really only thinking about how they would feel in the same situation. 

To everyone else, they seem to be totally in control and able to deal with whatever life throws at them. Unfortunately, this is not the case. If life becomes really hard they crumble. Suddenly it is those around them that are taking control. Where once they had seemed so capable, suddenly it seems to have escaped them. Once life has returned to normal and is more pleasant, back comes this person’s control and confidence.

It is this character trait in particular which explains why someone can seem to be coping better than most with day to day hassles but have begun to suffer from terrible anxieties and stress symptoms when something more significant comes along. It is useful for us all to remember that even those who appear to have great resolve and strength can suffer from stress like anyone else. Personality is simply one element that can tip the balance.

Stage Three Character Type

The third character type is probably best described as the actor. They love being the centre of attention and often described as being the life and soul of the party. They enjoy entertaining others with funny stories and banter; although sometimes it can be a little overpowering to others.

They are very extrovert in their behaviour with extravagant gestures and interestingly in their outward appearance; wearing brightly coloured clothes. They enjoy attracting attention to themselves and are happy if others are being their audience. Quite often they use dramatic language; a headache will not be painful it would be agony and something isn’t good it’s amazing!

They may claim to have a great depth of understanding about people, but in reality, this is very limited. They find it difficult to ‘read’ other people and are oblivious to someone else’s feelings. As long as they are the centre of attention they are happy. Some say they are the sort of person who asks how you are then talks to you about themselves. But what about stress?

The daily hassles are usually missed by this character type. They brush them off and seem unconcerned by them. That lack of perception serves them well and they often cannot see the implications of those hassles. Living in the here and now they fail to see the bigger picture. However, those life changes hit them hard. They find it difficult to cope with the big changes in life and will react with lots of dramatic emotion; which the keen observer would note is somewhat childlike. With any luck, they will fall back on their talent for showmanship and use the stressful situation as part of their performance. 

It is important to remember too that we are all a mixture of the three of the personality types. No one person would fit perfectly to one description but one would be in predominance. It is useful to recognise which bits of the descriptions fit you best as this can give you an idea of why you deal with the stresses of life in a particular way.

How many people do you know who fit one of these types? Are you like one yourself? Can you spot the mixture of all three in your behaviour?