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Why Talking Works - The Processing Answer


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  A problem shared is a problem halved, isn’t that how the saying goes?  When something is on your mind and you're struggling to figure out which direction to take, talking it through with someone often helps you find a way out of the dilemma. What appeared to be an obstacle shrinks when you have put it into words. Why? When we talk about something, we adapt our understanding of it. Talking about something out loud means we have to slow down and think about it differently rather than having thoughts racing around our mind. Speaking about something forces us to think things through so we understand things differently; we have processed them. Processing means understanding. We understand something about the circumstances and ourselves. Something happens, and we have to understand what happened and the effect it did or did not have on us. When a person has experienced a significant event, particularly a life change, they will have to process what happened or is still happening and

Preventing Burnout with Stress Management

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The demands of the situation are greater than our perceived ability to cope   What does this tell us? Stress is not simply about the demands of the circumstances it's about whether we believe we can cope with those demands. This helps to explain why one person may find it difficult to deal with stressful events while another copes with the same circumstances comparatively easy. They perceive their ability to cope differently. How we think about stressful events influences how we cope. The way we think about stress is influenced by several factors: 1: Our previous experience dealing with stress - If you are used to dealing with stress and have found it easy to manage the psychological and physical effects in the past, you are more likely to have a positive expectation of your ability to cope with current stress. 2: The stressful situation is predictable - If you expected that stressful events were imminent, you are more able to prepare both psychologically and practically to d

Stop Smoking With Hypnotherapy

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To stop smoking is the easiest thing you can do in the world - as soon as you are in the right frame of mind.  That's why Hypnotherapy can make it so easy to stop smoking. Whenever someone consults me about wanting to stop smoking I always ask myself two questions:  Why Hypnotherapy? Why now?  These are the two most important questions to ask yourself because stopping smoking comes down to belief. Your belief in being a natural non-smoker for good! Most people have tried lots of different ways to stop smoking, from nicotine patches and gum to willpower alone. Each time most people find it difficult to succeed because with each of these methods you have to keep thinking about the very thing they don’t want to do in order to not do it! Why Willpower Alone is likely to fail... Take the example of using willpower alone. In order for it to work, you keep thinking: “I won’t smoke. I’m not smoking.” You are thinking about cigarettes, they seem to always be on your mind. The reason hypnot

What’s the Difference Between Stress And Anxiety?

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  What’s the difference between feeling stressed and feeling anxious? It can be easy to confuse the two, especially when they become muddled together. Think of stress as a normal response to the pressures of the circumstances. It usually occurs when we perceive the demands of the situation are more significant than we are able to cope with. The important thing is stress is logical (while unpleasant) given the situation.  Ask yourself: is it logical that I should feel the pressure given these particular circumstances? Stress is usually short-term if we have the correct coping experience to know how to deal with the demand placed upon us. We adapt and reassess the situation and the stress response reduces because we have changed our perception of our ability to cope. Where our experience of coping is limited or our natural resilience has waned, the stress response can continue. If this is left unchecked, it can lead to burnout. Anxiety is a very similar physical and psychological respons

Anxiety? Stress?

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  Do you know the difference between feeling stressed and feeling anxious? It can be so easy to get the two confused, especially when they can become muddled together. Think of stress as a normal response to the pressures of the circumstances. It usually occurs when we perceive the demands of the situation are greater than we are able to cope with. The important thing is stress is logical (while unpleasant) given the circumstances. Ask yourself: is it logical that I should feel the pressure given these particular circumstances, right now? Stress is usually short-term if we have the correct coping experiencing to know how to deal with the demands of the circumstances. We adapt, reassess the situation and the stress response reduces because we have changed our perception of our ability to cope. Where our experience of coping is limited or our natural resilience has waned, the stress response can continue. If this is left unchecked, it can lead to burnout. Anxiety is a very similar phy

What's Behind Anxiety?

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  Ever wondered why one person develops an anxiety condition and another doesn’t? Some people have phobias while other’s don’t. One person may suffer terribly from depression, and the next person never has to fight against the same emotional numbness. In years gone by, we might have described this as having trouble with their nerves or being highly strung, but that's a description of how they are, not WHY they are so. A description of symptoms is not an explanation. If you were to ask the person suffering from anxiety WHY they had that problem, they might shrug their shoulders and say: “That’s just the way I am.” Others might explain: “I know where it all began. I was trapped in the cupboard under the stairs as a child and I was terrified." If you were to ask why they think that caused the claustrophobia, they might look puzzled as if you hadn’t understood their explanation. Lots of people get stuck in cupboards or enclosed spaces when they are playing as children, do they all

Empirical Expectation: The Key To Behaviour Change

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While there are many things a workplace can do to promote emotional wellbeing and productivity, we have to deal with the personal side too. We can work in the most supportive environment possible but our well-being would still be affected by what is going on in our personal lives. Aim to make both aspects of our day to day experience more emotionally healthy and you are pre-armed to deal with stresses far better. Putting our stresses and emotions in context is very important. Left unchecked we can get caught in a situation where we catastrophise the situation and it appears much more difficult to deal with. Ask yourself what would you expect to feel from the current circumstances. Wouldn’t it be reasonable to feel under pressure right now? Is this pressure likely to continue indefinitely? Is that helpful to be worrying about that particular thing right now? Does it need dealing with… right now? An example:  You have an important meeting with a client at work but you are stuck in traffi