Beyond The Swinging Watch - Hypnosis and Psychology in Everyday Life

  In my blogpost Anxiety: The Mind’s Fake News , I explained how anxious and negative thoughts are largely based on false information. The fake mind news is the product of an overestimation of potential threat. We worry and feel stressed as a precaution to the perceived threat in our environment. Our mind tells us one thing and the reality is something different, but we better be on our guard because what if something bad were to happen. It is difficult to grasp sometimes that this thought process is not always at a conscious level. Negative thinking creeps in and we were unaware of why we should feel that way. The fake negative warning signal comes from within our mind with the result being a conscious battle with the reality of the situation. The Burglar Alarm In Our Mind A teenage client of mine once described it as a burglar alarm going off but there was no burglar in the building. You look for evidence of an intruder but there is no-one. You take a moment to reset only for the...

  More and more I am being contacted by worried parents whose teenage son/daughter is struggling with stress and anxiety. Some have become overwhelmed with the school changes due to the pandemic, and other’s have found that their anxiety symptoms have flared up and both parent and teenager don’t know how to cope.  Anxiety is our mind telling us lies. In my blogpost: Anxiety: The Mind’s Fake News , I explain that it is an early warning signal that our mind has used since we were primitive nomads. We are programmed to overestimate the potential threat in a situation because then we are protected from danger even when our estimation was incorrect. One of my teenage clients described it as a faulty alarm ringing in a building but there wasn’t a burglar. Even though everything was safe and calm in the building, the alarm kept sounding. It is very stressful for the building owner to have to manage the faulty alert, particularly when they had no idea why the alarm kept sounding. In o...

  It’s another lockdown and psychological resilience is going to be particularly important. At times like these, we can feel overwhelmed, largely because things feel out of our control, but there are a few things you can do to take control of how you respond to the changing circumstances. Make a plan - Take charge with Problem Focused Coping Having a plan is something that psychologically puts our feet on the ground and gives us a sense of control. Plan small things as well as big things. Ask yourself what you need to right now, what is the most important thing you need to focus on right now? It may be something big like sorting out your finances, organising work, or how you are going to juggle online schooling as well as that zoom meeting. These are important… but remember they cannot be perfect! This is not a perfect situation, so the way you respond to it is unlikely to be perfect too. Like everyone else you make the best of the situation and do what you can. Plan some smaller t...

  Let’s dust ourselves down from 2020 and think about how we can make some subtle changes to our behaviour to create and maintain some positivity in our lives. Changing an unwanted behaviour or habit requires a persistent and consistent approach. It is a marathon rather than a sprint, and we expect the journey to be a bit rocky, but we hold on to the belief that it is going to happen. There are a few techniques to help you remain consistent in your approach. They are not a ‘silver bullet’ but, they help us keep our mind focused on our goals. I am, of course, only talking about minor problems and the sort of annoying behaviours that are not life restricting but are nevertheless something you would like to ‘nip in the bud’. So here goes… Delaying Technique  Many people refer to automatically indulging in habitual behaviour. They describe it as if a part of themselves takes over and they have little control over it. While we know that this is not the case, and they are fully capa...

  Had enough of 2020? I don’t blame you! It’s been a strange year, but I have taken stock of some of the positive things to take into 2021… Resilience Since the end of the first lockdown, I have been helping people manage the stresses which are a bi-product of the pandemic. I have continued to help people overcome anxieties which have been resurrected or made worse by the worries of COVID-19. Whatever the outcome, it has been clear that we have a great deal of resilience. The clients I have worked with have shown grit and determination to challenge their worries, face and resolve their anxieties when it would have been understandable to run and hide. We all have resilience, but understanding that it will fluctuate with the circumstances we find ourselves in is the key. Will power is the act of keeping going despite the obstacles faced, and the same is true for resilience. The key is always to keep going, resolving obstacles by asking for help when needed or changing direction. My c...

  Almost time for Christmas and this year, for many, it can’t come quick enough. Managing the online shopping and working out who is in the support bubble as well as how many can we celebrate with all add to the stress. After the stresses of 2020, we can speculate as to what next year will bring. While Christmas is a time to celebrate, the preparation and everything that goes with it can become stresses in itself. Psychologists acknowledge the effect that life changes have on people and their well being. I’m sure that we can all understand the stress someone feels at being made redundant or the breakdown of a relationship, these are as the title suggests: life changes. These big changes to our usual status quo. What about those day to day stresses? Those things interrupt our routine? Forgetting something, the traffic jam making you late to that important appointment, the argument you had with someone, all act as irritants to the smooth running of our lives. Of course on their own, ...

  “I can’t seem to relax” Busy and stressful day to day life means that many know they need to relax but find it difficult to actually do it. Sometimes people tell me that they struggle to relax because they can’t ‘switch their mind off’. A person may believe they are unable to relax because their mind simply races through all the things they have done that day and the plans for the next. It feels like their mind does not switch off and as a result become more stressed. Did you know that thinking and relaxing are two different things? It is perfectly possible to benefit from relaxation even when your mind is thinking about other things. When relaxing almost always our mind will wander, and this has little effect on the benefits of relaxation. Hypnosis is best described as deep, focused relaxation. A person is not asleep and is perfectly aware of what is said and what is going on around them; the idea of being unconscious is a myth. I often tell clients who are experiencing hypnos...