A few positive things from what has been a strange year...

 

Had enough of 2020? I don’t blame you! It’s been a strange year, but I have taken stock of some of the positive things to take into 2021…

Resilience

Since the end of the first lockdown, I have been helping people manage the stresses which are a bi-product of the pandemic. I have continued to help people overcome anxieties which have been resurrected or made worse by the worries of COVID-19. Whatever the outcome, it has been clear that we have a great deal of resilience.

The clients I have worked with have shown grit and determination to challenge their worries, face and resolve their anxieties when it would have been understandable to run and hide.

We all have resilience, but understanding that it will fluctuate with the circumstances we find ourselves in is the key.

Will power is the act of keeping going despite the obstacles faced, and the same is true for resilience.

The key is always to keep going, resolving obstacles by asking for help when needed or changing direction. My clients have shown plenty of resilience, but perhaps never more so than in the last six months.

What can we take from this? Keep going! Ask for help when you need it. Seeking help is not a weakness but a sign of strength because it is problem-solving. It would be daft to think that you had all of the answers all of the time, so use the resources of people around you. Seek out those that know how to help and can offer support.

Talk, Talk Talk

I know it is going to sound like a cliche coming from a therapist, but talk and communication are more important than ever. Being in touch with people and talking has shown its benefits in therapy, but people recognise the benefits in their everyday lives more and more. 

A problem shared is a problem halved. It does help.

So many of my stressed clients found that talking it through allowed them to see their stresses for what they are, manageable worries. There was a sigh of relief when they realised that it is understandable to be feeling stressed at the moment. Once we accept that, often the pressure is eased and managing the stress becomes easier.

Why does it help? Verbalising stresses mean you have to process it (think about it) differently than when it’s a worry rattling around in your thoughts. We can take a step back from our worries and see them with a different perspective.

Talking to someone who is not involved, for example, a friend or therapist is often the best start. People say to say that they don’t want to burden their partner, so talk to someone else, talk it through.

What can we take from this? Talk, share and don’t be afraid to seek out help when needed. Listen to others, realise that they are stressed too, and sharing will strengthen your resilience also. Don’t feel that you have to come up with solutions, be the listening ear. We all need to offload sometimes and release the pressure value that helps us see our stresses from a realistic perspective: something we can and will overcome.

Kindness

We have seen plenty of examples of human kindness over the last few months, from people collecting shopping for neighbours who have been isolating, to showing gratitude by clapping on our doorsteps to thank the frontline workers caring for those most in need. 

I know ‘being kind’ can sound a bit like I’m channelling Julie Andrews as she spins around on a mountain, but with all the negativity of the year, it can be easy to forget that there is kindness out there and people are eager to help others.


I remember reading about the deputy headteacher of a school in North East Lincolnshire who walked the streets of his town during lockdown delivering free lunches to those children who otherwise may have struggled to have a meal that day. 

There was the video on Twitter of a whole street applauding a young woman who had just arrived home from her shift as a paramedic.

I remember the funeral director I spoke to and stress and trauma he faced helping families say goodbye to their loved ones in a time when things were far from straight forward. His kindness and eagerness to play his part in helping others were unquestionable.

What can we take from this? Kindness is there. We should fight against negativity wherever and whenever we can. We can all add to it by being kind ourselves as much as possible. Kindness really can make a difference to someone, especially when they least expected it. Bring a smile to their face and make them laugh.

So to the NewYear

Let’s say goodbye to 2020 with one eye on what we have learned about our resilience, our ability to talk our way through inevitable stresses, and remember the kindness people have shown.

If we do that, then we know that we can deal with whatever 2021 throws at us because this year has given us the experience and skills that will help us keep going!

I continue to be available to help people with emotional and stress-related problems. You are welcome to come along for a free initial consultation, book now at www.ketteringhypnotherapy.com or call me direct on 01536 350328.