Why we should stop using the words ‘quitting’ or ‘giving up’



Somebody quits or gives up smoking. Somebody else gives up alcohol for January. Another person quits biting their fingernails. They are all positive behavioural changes, and I would the last person to belittle their efforts, but I believe the language they (and the rest of us) are using is, in fact, putting obstacles in the way of success. 

The language we use must be positively phrased, a statement of what is going to happen; that something is going to take place. We must avoid ambiguity, or leave room for other behavioural possibilities. 

Any Hypnotherapist will tell you that if someone wanted to stop smoking, it would be pointless to use the post-hypnotic suggestion that they are going to not smoke. Following that instruction, the person is going to spend most of their time thinking about what they do not want to happen, rather than what they do. The result? They are likely to continue smoking...and even a bit more!

To change habitual behaviour is straight forward if a person is focused on what they do want to happen rather than what they don’t. Negatives encourage a person to think about the very behaviour they would rather stop.


So what is wrong with ‘quitting’ and ‘giving up’? 

Words themselves can be suggestions in themselves. Words have connotations for behaviour. Think about the word: try. It is an implication of failure. You or I might try and lose weight, or try and stop biting our fingernails, but the word itself leaves the very real possibility that it isn’t going to happen.

The words quit or the phrase 'giving up', are associated with weakness, not a success. Who wants to be a quitter? ‘Giving up’ is associated with someone who couldn’t see something through. 

Someone who stops smoking or any habitual behaviour is far from a quitter in life, but using phrasing with negative connotations sends the wrong suggestion to our mind.

You may say it doesn’t matter, we are not in Hypnosis all of the time... 
Do you really think that unconscious suggestion only happens when in hypnosis? You average advertiser doesn’t think so…
How about removing the word try from your vocabulary and the next time you want to stop an unhelpful habit, consider how you could think about it as positively as possible.

What would be a better way of thinking?

You are going to thinking about the behaviour you want to change, so ...
Let's imagine what might happen if you spent thinking about what you did want to happen? Why not dwell on how your life is going to be (not how it won't be!) when you are free from your unwanted habit? 

Well, that would be a good start.

Maximise your efforts by considering how you are going to feel. How are you going to feel when you are a natural non-smoker? What is it going to feel like when you are in control of your eating habits? 

Never underestimate the power of your imagination! When we imagine things we are suggesting to ourselves. Our unconscious mind is listening and watching... it is looking for instructions for new behaviours. So tell it! Say in your thoughts what you know is going to happen. Remind yourself of how you are going to feel as you achieve your goal and keep reminding yourself!

Be Consistent and Persistent

Don't set yourself too many targets along the way... just slowly and surely make those changes. We make significant and meaningful change in our lives through a consistent and persistent approach. It's a marathon, not a sprint. 

If you checked your thinking for its positivity everyday for a one month... chances are your unwanted habit would have either gone or be so manageable that it was insignificant. 

Positive language is the trick to altering those habits and unwanted behaviours. 

Want to boost it further?

Come along for a session or two of Hypnotherapy. Hypnosis magnifies the positivity as it allows for a more direct root to the unconscious mind. 

You can also find out ways to use self-hypnosis to boost your success in other aspects of your life. 

Find out more and book a free, no-obligation initial consultation at www.ketteringhypnotherapy.com or give me a call direct on 01536 350328



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